If my wife and I file jointly is there a way to figure out how much each partner got back in the return?

It will depend on the complexity of your return, but here's one simple way (maybe over simplistic):

Take the  box 1 amount of the wife's W-2 and divide by the amount on line 1 of form  1040 (example 10,0000 / 50,000 = 20%). Multiply that by the amount on line 16 of form 1040 (example 0.20 x 1000 = $200).  That's her share of the tax liability.  Subtract that from the amount in box 2 of her W-2 (example $250 - 200 = $50).  That's her share of the refund  ($50 in the example).

You could use this tool to calculate what your refund woulda been if you could each file Single (in actually you're not allowed to file Single) and compare the results https://turbotax.intuit.com/tax-tools/calculators/taxcaster/