Why does my refund go down when I add day care expenses? I contributed 5k to a DFSA and had 11,010 in day care expenses. If I leave the actual spend off I net $700.

It sounds like you are doing something wrong. Is your dependent care FSA listed in your W-2 box 10? If yes, this amount will be added back to your taxable income unless you list qualifying expenses.  If the FSA is not listed in box 10 of your W-2, you need to get a corrected W-2 from your employer.

If you provided care for one child, then you will not receive an additional credit, because the eligibility for the credit is $3000 for one child or a $5000 FSA but not both. But, you must enter at least $5000 of expenses, otherwise, the FSA money will be added to your taxable income.  If you paid for care for two or more qualifying children, the maximum eligible expenses $6000 and since you had a $5000 FSA, this leaves $1000 to apply toward an additional small credit amount, which for most taxpayers will be 20% or $200 added to your refund or subtracted from the tax you owe.

however, remember that both you and your wife, if married, must have income earned from working. This would be W-2 or schedule C income and does not include income from investments or retirement accounts.