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Yes, you can claim him as a dependent because he is your son and he is disabled. The $4000 income limit only applies to a dependent who is not your son or daughter.
You do not need to claim his SSD as income and he does not need to file tax return, if he has no other income.
You do need to claim your wife's SSD on a joint return and it may be partially taxable, depending on the amount of other income.
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