Solved
My wife quit her job and withdrew her 401k. She withdrew it over the phone and was told they would tax 20% at the time and then "we would owe more when we filed out taxes" but all she received was a confirmation that the money was withdrawn, she hasnt recieved a 1099-R, what do I?
Wait for the 1099-R. The plan has until January 31 to mail it to your wife. She'll probably get it within a few days after that. (Does the plan have her current address?) If she doesn't get it in early February, call the plan or the employer and ask about it.
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