File Head of household for Federal and MFJ for state

It looks like you have the desktop product which is good; you need 3 returns.   Since the IRS doesn't recognize RDPs, you will need to prepare 3 returns.   Prepare and file your federal returns.   You will need a qualifying person to claim Head of Household and only one of you can claim that status.   The other will need to file Single, assuming you live together.    You can both e-file, but be sure to submit only your federal return, no state.   Then.....

If you need to file your state return jointly, you have an extra step.   You'll need to create a mock federal joint return which won't be filed with the IRS.   Its only purpose is to transfer your combined info to your Oregon return.   Save your tax files.  

1. Start a new return for the primary taxpayer (this is who you want listed first on your joint return)
2. On the Were You Married? screen, select Married
3. Select Yes to Do you want to file this return together with your spouse? and Continue
4. Continue through the screens and follow the instructions to prepare your Oregon joint return
5. Choose File by Mail - and save the tax file
6. Print a copy of your mock federal return (along with your state return) for your records, but don't file the mock federal return with the IRS.   SIGN and mail your Oregon return; an instruction sheet will print.