No State Refund Received Oklahoma and their website says allow 3 weeks -- It has been 12 weeks? It also says don't call because their reps see the same thing I see when I log in to find my return (again it says allow 3 week). Is there anything els

How did you file the state return--by efile, or did you print, sign, and mail?

If you efiled, first check to be sure you efiled the return successfully, and it was accepted.  Use this tool:

https://shop.turbotax.intuit.com/efile/efile_status_lookup.jsp 

The notice at the Oklahoma tax website not to call probably means they can't see anything different in the first 3  weeks.  Your situation is obviously different.

If the tool I provided above shows the state return was accepted (or if you mailed it),  I would phone the OK Tax Commission anyway.   If they can't give you good info, ask them how to contact the OK state Taxpayer Advocate's office (not the IRS advocate's office) then ask that office to assist you.   That office may be called something different in your state.