Solved
In doing this we get fined by WV. I request a waiver, but we always receive a letter saying we owe a fine a few months down the road. Am I doing something wrong?
It depends. West Virginia likely holds you liable for underpayment of tax because, since VA and WV are reciprocal states, either your husband can file a form with his VA employer to have WV and not VA tax withheld, or you can make estimated payments towards your WV tax liability. By doing neither, they may feel that the penalties and interest are justified and do not waive them.
The easiest way to resolve this for next year is to request the correct form so that VA tax is no longer withheld, but WV tax is. Here is an FAQ which provides more information on reciprocal states: https://ttlc.intuit.com/replies/4776822
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