Can we still file joint? My husband home of record is CA but mine was VA 2020. But we both live in NC. Husband is active duty and I am reservist

You have two options:

1) The Veterans Benefits and Transition Act of 2018 gives the spouses of active duty servicemembers the option of filing their state and local tax returns as a resident of the servicemember's military State of Legal Residence (SLR), even if the spouse has no other connection with that state.  So you & your husband can file a joint CA return, if you wish.

2) If you prefer, you can file as a resident of your own home state of VA.  However VA tax rules are that a VA resident married to a non-resident of VA must file their VA return as Married Filing Separately.  See this reference:

https://www.tax.virginia.gov/filing-status